Christmas Makes Me Sad

Christmas makes me sad.

There is a grief that sneaks up on me every year, quietly, like a cat padding up behind me. It sinks its claws deep into my skin and won’t let go. The pain settles into my bones, and I get so used to it that I stop noticing it hurts, until my entire body screams.

As a child, the magical lights of Christmas trees and the festive colors adorning neighboring lawns made me feel like an outsider.